06 December 2013

The Nerd Book #3: Melo Reacts to Non-YA Book Covers

Welcome to The Nerd Book where my good friend and now co-blogger Melo joins me on the blog to talk about all the nerdy cool things he likes (and dislikes). It's another round of cover bashing but this time, I picked 10 non-YA book covers. Originally I thought I'd name this the New Adult (NA) edition but I'm not sure some of the titles fit under that age bracket. So... "Non-YA" it is!

Okay so at first glance I thought this was a perfume bottle, never mind the title. I immediately really thought it was a perfume bottle. My mind’s playing tricks on me. Aaaaaaaaanyways, here we go! So the title Shaken Not Stirred is clearly a reference to 007’s preferred Martini prep, and it also says mixology novel on the bottoms. So yay, alcohol and love stories, cause they go hand in hand. I’m more interested to see what kind of cocktails the book will introduce, and how they will be described. “Okay so the bartender pulls out this drink, in a glass, and it’s just, awesome.” Mmm. No. 

Are you high? He’s clearly not making faces! He’s in pain. Never mind that he’s topless, but he’s clearly in pain. I can’t even poke fun at this. Not possible. If I had to guess, I’d say this was about people who “make faces” to hide their real emotions. Pretty tempting story stuff if that were the case. Internal monologue versus actual dialogue will cause the reader to juggle both at the same time. The question then becomes not why the two are inconsistent, but rather, which thought is the truth? 

(Me: I purposefully included Parts & Wreck because you looove Parks and Rec. Melo: HAHAHA DAMN IT. I KNEW IT!)

Okay so I’m a big Parks and Recreation, and that’s all I’m thinking with this one. I can’t think of anything else with this cover. Never you mind that the cover art looks like it’s straight from an internet flash movie. I’m not even going to approach that. Basically I think the author’s trying to be cute by forcing a pun in the title. Parks and Rec is really all I can think about. Oh and is this Mark Henry the WWE wrestler, aka The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry? Moving on!

Okay I don’t know how to feel about this one you guys. I’ve handled a lot of pretty crazy stuff in my life, and I mean craaaaazy stuffs, but this one definitely takes everything to a whole new level. I’m getting nothing from this cover about the story. For this one, if anyone could possibly help me out, I’d give you a bag of mentos. Okay thanks.

Okay three things, 1. Bullies are bad, don’t be a bully kids! 2, Bully only makes me think of Bully, the game, which is totally fun, it’s like GTA but for a private prep school. But ahem, sorry that’s beside the point. 3, onto this cover! I’m sorry, but if you’re naked with your “Bully” and you seem to be into it, then you should pick up a dictionary because that is definitely not bullying. If it were, then bullying won’t be bad anymore. *insert awkward winky face here* to recap, two naked people who seem into it = not bullying.

The only thing that could possibly come up from the interaction of the two people on the cover is a baby. It’s either that or they’re both pickpocketing themselves. That would be more interesting no? They get to know each other because they took each other’s wallets, and try to recover their own wallets. I’ll get you someday wallet thief!! And cut, now pay me 50million USD. 

(I actually like this book cover. I even made a post about it.)

Oh this. TOTALLY ORIGINAL. Holy Potatoes, 1 google search and I found a bunch of images that looked like this. Not to mention an old one that went viral a few months back. Maybe Taking Chances means to take the chance that no one would recognize this incredibly played out and clichéd (lol it made the e have the squiggle thing, god bless you MS word) love triangle imagery. Good lord. It would also seem that having multiple partners is becoming a staple now, and not at all a no-no. Hooray.

Lady if I were you, I’d take one huge breath before deciding to have a photoshoot UNDERWATER, SO I DON’T MURDER MYSELF. Good luck lasting long in the pool with them ten tiny breaths of yours. Real talk tho, I think this presents a limitation. It’s aesthetically pleasing, but other than that it doesn’t do much with telling me what the story is about. Unless it’s a Lady in the Water thing, lol M. Night Shyamalan reference. But seriously tho, forcing out a thought for the sake of it, I’d guess it’s a visual metaphor that the girl has trouble with life and ten tiny breaths represent little moments in her life where she can actually breathe, or something. I try. HAHA

(Me: BT dubs, The Mighty Storm is about a rockstar. His band's called The Mighty Storm. Melo: So that's a groupie shot. BY ODIN'S MIGHTY BEARD! The Mighty Storm sounds so nordic.)

This thing. I cannot. Even. THERE ARE FOUR DIFFERENT FONTS ON THIS THING. HOLY SHIT. Is this supposed to be some super hero story? There’s a forced epicness from the title, what kind of name is Mighty Storm anyways, is it Storm from Xmen that got a sexchange? Holy hell. This looks like a poster for a party, the tugs-tugs-tugs kind. Why the hell is the guy topless? Makes no sense, also he seems to be unaware that there are ghost arms on his chest. UNLESS. Unless, he’s like doctor octopus, and he has four arms. Case closed.

So Athletes are usually only sidelined for one purpose, a horrible injury. This would naturally lead me to think that this love story involves a changing of partners because one of them got sick or horribly injured. Now that's just awful. What kind of person would make a decision like that. It's a weird premise to build a romantic story on, really now. AND can anyone tell me why these covers are starting to look more and more like TV show or apparel ads? I don't get it.

Soooo I think it's safe to say that Melo prefers YA book covers more. He didn't like everything I showed him the last time but he did like a couple (I think) of the covers or at least some parts of it. Next time, we're taking on bestsellers! Thanks for dropping by!

P.S. if you're wondering, The Nerd Book isn't all about book covers. But Melo's having fun with this right now so.... Heh.

1 comment:

  1. Yep, it seems Kuya Melo prefers YA covers, lol! His comments are so hilariously snarky, I can't even!!!